The history of caring for material culture is as old as material culture itself. Many care instructions are passed on with the objects and sometimes they are not. When they are passed on by word of mouth, instructions often mutate through the same process as Chinese whispers. Alternatively, care practices can evolve with strange substitutions leading to deleterious results. When faced with some disasters like deep fried lace, professional texts offer little advice. This article will look at some of the more curious home remedies, myths and care practices and the subsequent conservation treatments developed to rectify them.